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"The thief comes only to kill, steal and destroy; but I have come that you might have life and life abundantly!" - John 10:10
Dealing with a spirit of rejection (rejection falls under the category of victimization). Actually there is no spirit of rejection, when making this reference I am referring to demon with the function or who's assignment is to cause rejection. As humans, we have a basic need to be loved, accepted, and respected. It is emotionally painful to us when we are rejected by others, especially loved ones.
“According to Maslow, all humans, even introverts, need to be able to give and receive affection to be psychologically healthy. Psychologists believe that simple contact or social interaction with others is not enough to fulfill this need. Instead, people have a strong motivational drive to form and maintain caring interpersonal relationships. People need both stable relationships and satisfying interactions with the people in those relationships. If either of these two ingredients is missing, people will begin to feel lonely and unhappy. Thus, rejection is a significant threat. In fact, the majority of human anxieties appear to reflect concerns over social exclusion. The experience of rejection can lead to a number of adverse psychological consequences such as loneliness, low self-esteem, aggression, and depression. It can also lead to feelings of insecurity and a heightened sensitivity to future rejection. Rejected children are likely to have lower self-esteem, and to be at greater risk for internalizing problems like depression. Some rejected children display externalizing behavior and show aggression rather than depression. The research is largely co relational, but there is evidence of reciprocal effects. This means that children with problems are more likely to be rejected, and this rejection then leads to even greater problems for them.” (Source: Wikipedia)
As noted in the paragraphs above, both psychologists and doctors observe and understand the behaviors, problems and consequences of rejection. Rejection has a natural and a spiritual component. The scriptures say Jesus was despised and rejected by men. Also that Jesus was a man of sorrows yet sinless. Jesus tells us we also would be despised and rejected by men. We have and will face rejection, but we must fight rejection with the truth that God does not reject us, but loves us and is for us, and we can do all things through God in Christ Jesus. If God does not reject us, who are we to reject and punish ourselves? Or who are we to take on the rejection of others as our truth? We are to recognize that others who sin against us are themselves victims of Satan and choose to forgive them for rejecting us. We also have rational choices to make. Though we forgive others, we don't choose to walk with those who are detrimental to us. As an African friend said to me, I may indeed forgive a man for physically hurting me but I am not going to walk down a dark alley with him as he carries a knife in his back pocket.
The enemy will take rejection as a weapon to put us in chains. He does this by sending evil spirits of whose assignments are to first, accuse us and second to lie to us in an effort to cause us to believe the lies. When we believe those lies and make inner agreements or vows against others and ourselves it binds us from having abundant life. When we take ownership of the negative perceptions and pronouncements of others about ourselves, we become bound in emotional chains.
There are three main categories of demons that work together to bind humans with rejection. These are spirits of rejection, (coming from others), self-rejecting spirits (blaming us for the rejection of others), and fear of rejection (these spirits cause us to reject others least they reject us, and actually cause others to reject us). The net effect is an emotionally damaged individual who craves love and acceptance but finds himself isolated from loving caring relationships and lives in a state of depression (resignation, no hope), or anger toward others for their injustice. When we see people who are angry or depressed, our natural tendency is to avoid these individuals lest we also become depressed or attacked. This leads to further isolation and rejection. In addition, there are times when spirits of infirmity will piggyback on spirits of rejection as we open the door by cursing ourselves and not forgiving others who reject us.
The spirit of rejection takes advantage of various situations
A spirit of rejection will sometimes take advantage during various circumstances. As an example if a loved one dies, the spirit will cause the person to believe the one who died rejected them and that God did too by allowing it.
Many believe that in the case of unwanted pregnancies (rape, incest, uncommitted relationships, selfish desire) that a baby in the womb can sense when they are not wanted. This allows a generational spirit of rejection to enter into the womb and attach to the child even before birth. In counseling, I have seen individuals express they didn't even want to be born and are quite emotional about it only to discover they were an unwanted pregnancy.
Also, I have experienced individuals who have struggled with rejection even when it was a wanted pregnancy because the parents wanted a child of the opposite sex. This situation has at times even led to sexual perversion and causes the person to struggle with their sexual identity. Of course, divorce can also cause a child to feel rejected because the one they love has left them. This could also be the case for anyone who had a spouse who left or had an affair.
One more way in which I have seen a spirit of rejection take advantage of people’s situations has to do with how they perceive themselves. People compare themselves to others for physical beauty, attractiveness, intelligence, including any real or perceived defects. They will often reject themselves and actually curse parts of their bodies. A spirit of rejection will run with this curse and sometimes cause further physical problems by inviting in a spirit of infirmity.
All forms of abuse are rejection by nature
Abusive behavior is using force or control against someone for the benefit of the abuser in disregard of the victim. Abuse maybe of a sexual or non-sexual nature. Sexual abuse includes rape, incest, violence, and coercion. All these generally lead to demonic infestation. Rape is taking a person’s body and rejecting the person and their will. Some people during sexual abuse or other traumatic experiences have had out of body experiences or would disappear into a fantasy world as a partial means of escape. Unfortunately, this doesn’t help in the individual in the long run, as demons are involved.
Hypothetical example of rejection
John’s Dad abandoned him at age six, started a new family and never came to see John. John was very hurt by this, and a spirit of rejection entered John telling him he was bad, and he was the reason Dad left Mom and him. John became depressed, feeling unloved. Other kids, sensing his downcast demeanor, made fun of him, picking on him. He had few friends. Later John got into drugs and pornography seeking acceptance and any form of love he could. This behavior led to even more self-hatred and guilt especially when he got caught and ostracized. John became angry with others and became rebellious toward people in authority and got in even more trouble. John hated himself and decided to kill himself. Fortunately, one of you struck up a conversation with John at Starbucks, gave him hope in Jesus, led him to the Lord, and encouraged him to forgive himself and his Dad. John is on his way to freedom.
By the way, the root of many additions is rejection. Many people feel no one loves them and therefore turn to things to fill this void of love, such as masturbation, sexual promiscuity, homosexuality, adultery, drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. They seek to join any group that will except them or use anything to dull the pain of loneliness and rejection.
My personal testimony
In my own life, rejection has been a detrimental influence. My parents were good parents in many ways. However my Dad, during my younger years, had an anger problem and perfectionist tendencies as an ex-marine. My Mother was somewhat emotionally dysfunctional, as a survivor of the great depression. This came across as rejection. My sister handled it by striving to please with grades and achievements. I handled it by saying to myself; I can't be perfect so I won’t play that game. Besides, if I am quiet and submissive I won’t get hurt, except by an occasional word of my laziness. I found I had taken this attitude of harshness on myself. I compared myself to others and considered myself less intelligent than most and less capable to achieve. I didn't like myself. This translated into my life in such thing as having no goals to achieve because after all how could I achieve them. I would quit jobs because of feelings of being substandard and fears of not being able to emotionally handle the job. I started a company and had to answer the phone. But because it was a new business I was afraid to answer the phone. (Fear of looking incompetent, being rejected and chided.)
I was afraid of getting close to people, such as dating, and I had few friends because of my attitude of inferiority all because of rejection. Public speaking was a terror. Not only do you run the risk of one person rejecting you, many people can be against you all at the same time. Through the years I have learned not to reject myself. Not to fall into agreement with accusing voices. To respect myself despite other who have been critical of me. I have had a spirit of fear rooted in rejection cast out of me on several occasions. I now stretch myself with activities that could cause rejection such as public speaking. Remember healing can be a process. I now enjoy a wonderful relationship with my own father, as we are both very different now.